Silence where lan­guage breathes

                                          

                                                      

- Ask me of it.

In the gap between see­ing and say­ing, in the way that leads from the event to the sto­ry of the event, where the event awaits its sto­ry not the man­i­fes­ta­tion of a secret but of their rela­tion­ship with it, with that which, between them, remains hid­den — hid­den to them, man­i­fest­ly hid­den to itself, present-

- Ask me of it.

Each word like a used up pain wait­ing for its hap­pened self to happen

- But lan­guage is our supe­ri­or­i­ty over it. Lan­guage is its hid­den secret.

- Events have no secrets.

(You will nev­er find the lim­its of lan­guage no mat­ter how far you may be able to remain silent.)

- What did you say?

- Ask me of it.

- But I did.

- Ask for noth­ing. Only ask.

 

*

 

Even if it is spo­ken it will nev­er be spo­ken enough. Even if you have spo­ken it, it is not cer­tain that you are aware of it, that you will be capa­ble of repeat­ing it.

You could not ques­tion words. It is like a pro­hi­bi­tion. Between the word and you some­thing had already been expressed in advance, some­thing that you have to take into account.

Mean­ing in words is super­flu­ous.

 

*

His feel­ing of ful­fill­ment, the feel­ing of the emp­ti­est disappointment-

She did not know if he was remain­ing silent or if the words were just gen­tly and obscure­ly drop­ping into silence.

 

                                           *

 

- So, you did say it. At least once.

- Are we not its hid­den secret?

This is the gift of silence: you will nev­er remain silent enough nev­er too silent- a vio­lent gift.

 

                                           *

 

The silence that lan­guage gath­ered inside him is des­tined not at arrive to the accom­plish­ment of silence but rather to let silence remain unaccomplished.

 

                                           *

 

Each word becom­ing slow and soli­tary inca­pable of remain­ing silent for lack of a sound-

- but we have heard it. We know it.

But in hear­ing it they only reached an abil­i­ty to remain silent that far exceed­ed any silence.

(She was the only one who has heard it.)

 

                                           *

 

This feel­ing that she was there with him in a place of igno­rance and atten­tion turn­ing towards him, mak­ing a sign, tak­ing hold of him in an instant of free­dom, vio­lent­ly aban­don­ing him in an instant of freedom-

- You speak too much.

- Yes, I am a traitor.

 

*

Each word in them becom­ing slow and soli­tary- famil­iar to that which is unknown to them to a knowl­edge that it is not theirs. It wants to take pos­ses­sion of them-

- but we have spo­ken it. We know it.

- If we speak it we will no longer know it, we will no longer belong to it. Speak.

 

*

 

One says noth­ing oth­er than that which one says. He is not talk­ing to her. They do not speak.

 

                                           *

 

No one con­vers­es with no one. There is no real dia­logue. Only words wait­ing for silence to car­ry them far enough so that they can be remem­bered and expressed.

- Some­one in me con­vers­es with-

- There is no real silence. Only words. Only the obliv­ion of words.

He is not talk­ing to her. He is no longer speaking.

 

                                           *

 

This enor­mous neces­si­ty for use­less words- Her enor­mous neces­si­ty for use­less words-

She real­ized that he had spo­ken to her only so that he could respond to the impos­si­bil­i­ty of him­self hav­ing spoken.

She real­ized that he had spo­ken to her only so that he could respond to the impos­si­bil­i­ty of him­self remain­ing silent.

- Yes, it is dreadful.

(He does not want her. He nev­er actu­al­ly spoke to her)

- Exhaust­ing the inex­haustible. Dread­ful, yes.

 

*

 

 

- How can we be sure that we are still ourselves?

- We cannot.

 

*

 

In order to speak it would not be nec­es­sary to speak but rather-

- Speak.

He could. He knew that he owed the abil­i­ty to remain silent to that assur­ance. But some­how he felt that speak­ing, speak­ing to her, was some­thing that he could not accom­plish, some­thing that could nev­er be car­ried out.

He could have spo­ken though. But not to her. And this assur­ance was a kind of proof. He could have spo­ken because at a cer­tain moment he could not speak.

 

                                           *

 

Speak­ing in a lan­guage that speaks nothing-

 

                                           *

 

- You did not warn me- Why?

- I had con­fi­dence in you.

- But you knew.

- Yes, I knew.

 

*

 

Speak­ing in a lan­guage that speaks nothing-

 

                                           *

 

- Is it too strong to be heard?

Even if you are not say­ing it, you will still be say­ing it.

- Words do that. As soon as one says some­thing one says a lit­tle less of it.

- So, we will remain silent.

- Silent, yes, but with no sound.

 

*

 

The secret is that he had said it. That he knows it.

The secret is that they are not aware of it any­more. That they belong to it.

- I do not know it. It does not belong to me.

Which means that it was already a part of him, the most uncom­fort­able part of him- still a dream.

 

                                           *

 

Silence is when lan­guage is in excess and when lan­guage is nev­er­the­less short on lan­guage. This over­abun­dant lack of lan­guage is the dura­tion of words.

 

                                           *

 

Every sin­gle of their words is a word entrust­ed to silence.

 

                                           *

 

 —        But we are speak­ing now.

 —        Some­times lan­guage can be remem­bered in silence.

- And expressed ?

- What do you mean ?

 

*

 

Each time he spoke he made lan­guage wordless.

Each time she spoke she made lan­guage wordless.

 

                                           *

 

- But we have said it.

- It was not exact­ly said. It was spelled out.

 

*

 

Lan­guage is still there, between them, because at a cer­tain moment they had sur­ren­dered them­selves to silence.

 

                                           *

 

Lan­guage con­sists of plac­ing your faith in that which you do not believe.

Silence con­sists of plac­ing your faith in that which you do not believe.

 

                                           *

 

I speak only in order to respond to the impos­si­bil­i­ty of myself speaking.

He spoke only in order to respond to the impos­si­bil­i­ty of him­self speak­ing to her.

 

                                           *

 

- I want to tell you every­thing, she says.

- Every­thing does not belong to language.

 

*

 

That is the gift of silence: you will nev­er be attract­ed enough, nev­er too attract­ed to it.

 

                                           *

- Are we speak­ing now ?

- Is it real­ly so important ?

- So, we are speak­ing. So, you are speak­ing. You are speak­ing to me. And does silence come quickly?

- Quick­ly, yes. And it is long.

 

(I con­sid­er Lin­gua Fran­ca to be a poem. I have com­posed it as such. As a poem that con­sists of twen­ty-nine poems)

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